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 I'm getting older 
I think I'm aging well 
I wish someone had told me, I'd be doing this by myself 
There's reasons that I'm thankful 
There's a lot I'm grateful for 
But it's different when a stranger's always waiting at your door 
Which is ironic 
'cause the strangers seem to want me more than anyone before (anyone before) 
Too bad, they're usually deranged. 
Last week, I realized I crave pity, when I retell a story 
I make everything sound worse 
Can't shake the feeling that I'm just bad at healing 
And maybe that's the reason every sentence sounds rehearsed 
Which is ironic 
Because when I wasn't honest, I was still being ignored (lying for attention just to get neglection) 
Now we're estranged. 
Things I once enjoyed 
Just keep me employed now 
Things I'm longing for, someday, I'll be bored of 
It's so weird 
That we care so much, until we don't. 
I'm getting older 
I've got more on my shoulders 
But I'm getting better at admitting when I'm wrong 
I'm happier than ever 
At least that's my endeavor 
To keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure 
'cause to be honest 
I just wish that, what I promise would depend on what I'm given (not on his permission, wasn't my decision) 
To be abused. 
Things I once enjoyed 
Just keep me employed now 
Things I'm longing for, someday, I'll be bored of 
It's so weird 
That we care so much, until we don't 
But next week 
I hope I'm somewhere laughing, for anybody asking 
I promise I'll be fine 
I've had some trauma, did things I didn't wanna, was too afraid to tell ya, but now I think it's time. 
            
 
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