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As I fall deeper into a manic state
I'm a prime candidate for the gene to receive the drug addict traits
Blood pressure climbs at a dramatic rate
I seem to gravitate to the bottle of nyquil then I salivate
Start off with the night well like, I think I'll just have a taste
Couple of sips of that then I gradually graduate
To a harder prescription drug called valium like, yeah that's great
I go to just take one and I end up like having eight
Now I need something in my stomach 'cause I haven't ate
Maybe I'll grab a plate of nachos and I'll have a steak
And you'd think that with all I have at stake
Look at my daughter's face, mommy, something is wrong with dad, I think
He's acting weird again, he's really beginning to scare me
Won't shave his beard again and he pretends he doesn't hear me
And all he does is eat doritos and cheetos
And he just fell asleep in his car eating three musketeers in the rear seat
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more than any time before
I have no options left again
Maybe just a nice cold brew, what's a beer
That's the devil in my ear, I been sober a fucking year
And that fucker still talks to me, he's all I can fucking hear
Marshall, come on, we'll watch the game, it's the cowboys and buccaneers
And maybe if I just drink half I'll be half buzzed
For half of the time, who's the mastermind behind that little line
With that kind of rationale, man, I got half a mind
To have another half of glass of wine, sound asinine
Yeah, I know, but I never had no problem with alcohol
Ouch, look out for the wall, aim for the couch, I'm 'bout to fall
I missed the couch and down I go looking like a bouncy ball
Shit must've knocked me out 'cause I ain't feel the ground at all
Wow, what the fuck happened last night, where am I
Man, fuck am I hangover and goddamn I
Got a headache, shit half a vicodin, why can't I
All systems ready for takeoff, please stand by
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more than any time before
I have no options left again
Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like déjà vu
I wanna get away from this place I do
But I can't and I won't, say I try, but I know that's a lie
'cause I don't and why I just don't know
I don't want to be the one the battles always choose
'cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused
I'll paint it on the walls
'cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
I'll paint it on the walls
'cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
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