The 'Nice Guy' Ballad
Wilbur Soot Song Lyrics

Hello, no one is available to take your call

Please, leave a message after the tone [beep]

'You're a fucking bitch sarah, I swear to god I'm gonna find you, and' [beep]

'Hey sarah, I just wanted to say sorry for my last message

I'm just a little angry at the moment, 'cause y'know, I'm such a nice guy and seem to only date scumbags

I just wanted to make sure there's no hard feelings between us

Please, please, can you unblock me on msn messenger?' [beep]

M'lady

Can you hear me?

Please don't block my number again

Look, I've jumped through all your hoops

We got off on the wrong foot

I want to prove to you

That I'm not obsessed with sex.

Left on seen

Another visit to your facebook gallery

This time not to masturbate

But instead, to appreciate

Something no man could do as well as I can

Something that shouldn't be for free

Cause I'm the only guy for you

And you're the only girl for me.

So why won't you

Show me your tits?

That restraining order

Was a bit far

All I did was attach a tracker onto your car

It's not a felony

It's not even a crime

I just wanted to make sure

You weren't seeing any black guys.

Who am I kidding?

A girl as pure as you

Would never go for a man like me

Because you are what reality is made of

Even the part that's gritty.

So why won't you

Show me your tits?

Consensually.

I'm a gentleman what can I say? I'm also really mentally stable.

I'm gonna kill myself

If you don't go out with me

I mean, it's a stretch

But blood is my dichotomy

I mean, come on

I wrote you a fucking song

I wouldn't have done this if you weren't an attractive woman.

Not... not that you're just a woman to me. I mean I'm a really sensitive guy. I can... I can see below the skin.

So why won't you

Show me your tits?

This isn't where it ends

We all make our mistakes

And the world will keep on turning

But it turns a lot slower

When you're not around

I'll settle for a picture of your feet.